GFB Christian Blog

Philippians 3:21"Who shall change our vile body,that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body,according to the workings whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself ".

We use the word changed or converted quite alot in religious circles,but what does it truly mean to be changed.Is going to church,singing in the choir, or preaching in the pulpit evidence of change. And if we are in fact converted or changed what is it we are changed from, or more important what are we change into.The scriptue says Jesus will change our vile body, that it might be fashioned like his glorious body. Well biblical change is represented as a miraculous life transforming process,a process which is totally impossible without the direct,active intervention and participation of God. In fact he must initiate the conversion process. No man can come to Jesus unless the spirit of God draws them.

He first opens the mind of those he is calling, or inviting to change so they can begin to understand the scriptures with a clarity and depth they could never attain on their own.This wonderful miracle of transformation usually begins when those God is calling hear the truth of God 's word accuratelly from one of his true servants( faith come by hearing, but how can they hear without a preacher,and how can he preach unless he be sent). Our creator opens our minds to comprehend the true gospel of Jesus Christ, the power of God to salvation.God's words now begin to make sense,just as a picture emerges when a puzzle is put together.Now the once lost soul begins to grasp the truth of  the Holy scriptures and become part of the miracle of God's calling.

Look… you get what we all get — a lifetime.

Just you or none of us ever get to know how long that will turn out to be.

So get to it. Because you woke up 18 this week.

You sat at the end of the table after barn chores, grinning like you were just getting stretched up for the starting blocks and the race of your life — and somewhere inside I felt this crossing of an invisible finish line, right through the stretched out tape.

And I want to go back.

I want to go back and hold the whole of you right in palm again and lay you in that kitchen scale and count your every gram, as if I could give you weight in this world.

I didn’t know that would happen until I started letting you go.

I want to go back and pull that boy with that bowl hair cut up on my lap again. Feel your chub fingers help me turn one more page, reach for one more crayon, hold my hand one more moment, and you have no idea how much I don’t care if that makes me a fool.

I want to go back to your sleep breathing on my shoulder and the way I didn’t want to move, to your bows and arrows and slung-on tool belts and well-envisioned, questionably-executed tree forts, to your buck teeth and big bravado and flipped up toilet lids and flipped out drive-me-mad attitude. I just want to go the whole ugly-beautiful way back and I want to get a do over.

Go back and shake up that 21 year old girl who brought you home and tell her that the best way to raise up a kid is to just loosen up. Nothing ever got raised up when held down tight. The Holy Spirit is a fluid grace and the wind is a carrying thing and you have to lean into it and let Him surprise if anything’s going to rise up and fly.

You grew up — and I want to go back and I want to go with you, but I can’t do either.

That’s a hard thing to sit with.

Hard to know I can’t fix any of the times I dented up your heart with my ridiculous white-knuckled steering-wheel control and big Buick idols. Yeah, you and I both remember how it got ugly and wild. You’ve got to know I’ll spend the rest of my life and pitiful wisdom trying to bang out those dents with presence and grace. Yeah, you and I both know I’ll probably make some more.

You made me get that: Grace isn’t some soft, ethereal notion. Grace is a noun, it’s a verb, it’s concrete, it’s like air. Just try living without it. Just try living without breathing. We all know how wrinkled hard lives like that are. You — you made me me breathe grace right down to the bottom of the lung. It was the only way we could live with each other. Inhaling, exhaling, giving and receiving grace.

It ended up beautiful, what all happened, and I don’t even think we realized it was happening at all.

So you’ll end up heading out.

Heading out down some back roads and long roads and roads I’d never pick for you and I wished I’d lived more backwards, backwards from the knowing that ends really do come.

Knowing that one day you’ll leave and I’ll be brave and wave. And you’ll go fall in love and you’ll feel it too and I can’t stop it for you — how a crush can crush you, how real love is never logical, how real love is always crazy love, and love is the most horrible and the most wonderful because it will make you strong and it will make you weak and it will make you vulnerable, which is the perfection of strong and weak together.

How Love will open you right up, then pull open your heart to let someone get into you and get to you and undo you and remake you and it’s everything terrifying and everything you ever wanted.

And I will nod and say yes.

That’s what you’ve done to me.

That’s what I’d go back to tell that new 21-year-old mother I was with her dangling kid, what I’m feeling as the woman falling over a finish line I don’t want to cross, what I’m saying to you, that new 18-year-old man done with being a kid — Don’t fight the hurt. Let the hurt make you real. Let go of the defenses and the shields and the tightfisted formulas for some life that doesn’t exist and give away beautiful pieces of yourself and feel the hurt, because the only way to own a life worth having is to give away your own life.

Give away the life of polished floors and gleamy sinks, of big hair and bigger bank accounts, and let love get in and mess with you and loosen you up and make you laugh and cry and really give and really hurt because is the only way to really live. Don’t waste a minute of your life on anything less than love.

Don’t waste a minute of your life on anything less than eternity.

And that’s. what. love. is.

I once heard the story of a preacher man with a PhD — whose mother died when he was two. When he was two and they were 5 kids in poor Kansas and she had grabbed hold of her husband’s hand and whispered her 5 last words: Always keep eternity before them.

Always keep eternity before them.

Think of eternity — and live backwards from that.

Don’t waste a minute of your life on anything less than eternity — and that’s. what. love is. Eternal, without end.

Let love happen to you. Don’t fight the hurt. It’s making you real.

You woke up to snow on your 18th.

“Crazy, for the 13th of May.” And you inhaled your plate of waffles, and said it again, “Snow — for my birthday in May!” And you downed the bacon and eggs I’d heaped up for you, and you pushed back your chair –

“I’ve got to go make a snowman. Before the sun makes it all go — ’cause who knows if it’ll ever happens like this again?”

And I get that. And it won’t.

And I stand at the window and watch you, the oldest, the child no more —

and your sister, the youngest, the child a bit longer, make a snowman out of spring.

And who would have known you’d be doing that on your big day when we found your gift weeks before — a watch.

A watch we had engraved with words that beg you to ask whatchya going to do with it:

“You have been given now. Romans 12:1.”

And all I can hear is the echo of a snowman melting in May: Seize the Day.

Just go do that: it’s never too late to love and there is always time to love and what else is a lifetime for?

You could see that snowman, right to the end, looking the loveliest real, giving itself away and unafraid to the sun.

 

 

 

Related Posts: How to be The Parent You Want to Be: 40 Things Your child Needs to Know Before they Leave Home
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After Steubenville: 25 Things Our Sons Need to Know About Manhood

Click here to download the FREE EASTER / LENT Devotional: The Trail to the Tree{please give it a few moments to download… thank you for grace!} And if you are thinking Advent/Christmas — Click here to download the FREE JESSE TREE Advent Family Devotional {please give it a few moments to download… thank you for grace!}

Close your eyes for a moment and remember when you were a child. How did you play? You used your imagination, of course. You pretended you were a mighty warrior – in your backyard with sticks for swords or via a character in a video game. You reclined at a table, sipping tea as if you were a princess discussing the matters of the kingdom. You dreamed. But soon, dreaming would fade into the background as a new pursuit injected itself into your life: the pursuit of knowledge.

The American public education system is designed around the pursuit of knowledge. Sure, at its fringes are the elective art classes and band practices, but the system has a deep love for math, science, and language. Not that those are bad endeavors – to the contrary, they are building blocks for operating in the world. However, how to apply those building blocks to create something new is hardly ever taught, causing many to think that knowledge is more important than imagination.

The Importance of the Imagination

You might be asking, “Isn’t knowledge power?” Yes, it is, but without imagination, knowledge is power without proper direction.

Why should this topic be important to you? Because it matters in your life. It matters in your finances, in your business pursuits, in how you spend your time, and in your overall purpose in life.

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. – Albert Einstein

A reason why so many people have expertise in a field but are paid below-average wages is due to a lack of imagination – and perhaps a lack of motivation to become unstuck.

Have I “arrived?” No. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s easier for me to trust in knowledge than in my imagination. But I can tell you, that every time I’ve nurtured and pursued the results of my imagination, I’ve never regretted doing so. Every time I’ve learned a valuable lesson that furthered my pursuits.

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. – Genesis 1:27 NIV

God is the creator of everything. With God being the creator of everything, I don’t have to tell you that God has quite the imagination. While we typically dream up new combinations of already-existing ideas, God makes entirely new things. Yet, God has created us in his image, and I believe he has put a spark of creativity and imagination inside of all of us.

If you’re feeling stuck – stuck in your job, in your life, in your financial situation – perhaps it’s time to take a deep breath and start nurturing your imagination.

How to Nurture Your Imagination

It’s not easy. And for most adults, it requires intentional and focused effort. Children have a much easier time dreaming about all that they could do and grow up to be, but by the time they grow up, many have abandoned their childhood dreams calling them “childish” or “silly.”

It’s time to be childish again. It’s time to be a little silly.

1. Ask “what if” a whole lot.

What if you could start a business out of your home? What if you could build a substantial emergency fund? What if you could pay off all of your debt? What if you could _______________________? (You fill in the blank.)

Asking “what if” will promote a new measure of faith, and cause you to use your imagination more than ever.

2. Seek out the encouragement of those closest to you.

When you dare to imagine, you leak. You leak your dreams to friends, family, co-workers, you name it. The problem with this is that the imagination doesn’t always render believable pursuits – at least, others might not believe you can make it. Some dreams you should keep to yourself, and only share with those who will honestly assess your ability to pursue them. It’s sad, but true, that some don’t want to see you succeed and escape the fate they believe they’ll have to endure themselves later on down the road.

However, do share your dreams with your spouse, a close family member, or a good longtime friend. They are most likely to encourage you to pursue the results of your imagination – and help you make appropriate tweaks along the way.

3. Be intentional about using your imagination.

You’re an artist. Perhaps not of the van Gogh variety, but certainly one who has a God-given ability to create. Freedom is a beautiful thing, and if you’re fortunate enough to live in a country that allows you to pursue it, do.

You must be intentional about nurturing your imagination. Instead of coming home from work and flipping on the television, read an inspiring book or mark in a diary some ideas you’ve had throughout your day. Do less consuming, and more creating. Find some time each day to brainstorm and discover ways to improve your life, and the lives of others.

Final Thoughts

Too many of us are overwhelmed, stressed out, and held back from nurturing our imaginations. Today, I encourage you to unleash even just a little bit of your creativity. Doing so might result in a boost of productivity, more time for your family, fewer financial struggles, and maybe even a brand new career. You can do it. You can become unstuck. You can imagine new circumstances and pursue them. All you have to do is imagine the possibilities. Cliche, but true.

Do you nurture your imagination? Or, are you simply a data cruncher? What would you like to be, to do, and to affect in this world? Are you living with purpose? Leave a comment!

If you aren’t reading Mere-O Notes, you really ought to be. Perhaps it is presumptuous to use an ‘ought’ so early in a discussion of ethics, but so be it. Really, go check it out. It is some of the best content curating on the web from an evangelical perspective.

How do we evaluate body modification in certain extreme cases? One woman has decided that she wants to gain weight for the express purpose of livestreaming herself on the web, either eating or otherwise. Her purpose for gaining weight is simple: there’s a market for “big, beautiful women,” and she can make more money by increasing her size. Jake ends his brief article on the subject with a question:

I hope that Christian readers will be disturbed by this story and agree that this isn’t an ethical way to modify the body. But the counter-argument for good moderns will be, “It’s her body, she’s not hurting anyone but herself, and she’s finding a way to actually make a living from it… so what’s the problem?” What’s the appropriate response for thoughtful evangelicals?

The comments are helpful. Two readers ran with the same argument: the body isn’t ultimately ours. We are stewards of the body, and the body is a temple. The above example makes it pretty clear that stewardship has gone out the door, and any reverence due a temple seems missing. I added my own thoughts, which I’ll quote here:

I think the issue gets a little trickier when we start to discuss the issues in the public sphere. Arguments like “the body belongs to God” doesn’t hold much weight with people who either don’t believe in God or don’t think God has any pull in our day-to-day lives, or even from people who hold to other religious beliefs, potentially.

I don’t think that means we can’t make the arguments, though.

On the one hand, I might be tempted to just say we shouldn’t worry about making the arguments. We can’t morally police everyone who isn’t within the fold, so to speak, so why try?

But if we were to make a run at it, I might start by arguing that our bodies are actually more public than we often recognize; if they are indeed our extension into space, it follows that our presence is shifted by the shape and state of our bodies. Perhaps people think they are only harming themselves, but (at least in the above example), there’s certainly the issue of encouraging others (how many people might see this method as a way to make money, and then damage their own bodies in desperation to pay their bills?). There might even be something worth arguing about the strangeness of finding unhealthiness intrinsically attractive (rather than finding someone attractive who is unhealthy, it seems these people are attracted to the act of making oneself less healthy, which strikes me as pretty problematic).

The other arguments we’d have to combat (happiness is the leading/best reason that people should be allowed to do things; ownership is reason enough to justify any action; we are our own greatest authorities, and are sovereigns of our own bodies) are trickier to work through, sans Christianity or some other religious appeal, but I’m not sure they’re impossible.

I won’t repeat myself, but I did want to take some time to advance one of these arguments a bit further. If there’s interest, perhaps I’ll work through some of the others.

That second-to-last paragraph is what I want to hone in on; in particular, I want to talk about the intrinsic public nature of bodies. I’ll admit right off the bat that a lot of my thoughts on bodies, especially theological thoughts, have been influenced by Earthen Vessels, written by Matthew Anderson.

In one sense, our bodies are private: we cover them, and only reveal them in intimate moments (most of us, anyway). But for the most part, our bodies are absolutely public: people look at us and see us, we smell and touch others, we live in the world as embodied beings. So when we make decisions about our bodies–from the food we eat to the people we see to the places we go–we’re acting in a way that, by definition, doesn’t stay with the self.

And so it gets tricky when we start to look at something like intentionally making ourselves unhealthy. While the story cited above may give us all a similar reaction (perhaps it doesn’t; I’d like to hear from you, if that’s the case!), what about when we go and eat fast food, or skip exercising, or avoid vegetables? These are moments when we act against the body, in a way. The counter argument, and the one most of us will probably quickly jump to, is to say something like “Well, pleasure is an important part of life as well. If we don’t all like vegetables, we should sometimes enjoy stuff that isn’t so good for us, because we enjoy it.”

If we push that further, however, we get to the point where we gorge ourselves for the sake of enjoyment, rather than practicing stewardship.

So what do we do to evaluate our own actions in regards to our bodies? What framework should we use; what questions should we ask?

I think the stewardship line is a helpful one to explore. We should take care of the temples we have been given. While it feels like this will immediately lead us all to rigorous diet and exercise schedules, I think we should stretch the analogy a bit more. A temple that is crafted and decorated and chiseled until it looks absolutely perfect may be beautiful, and it may even be functional, but it will also be cold. A place of worship–a church–that discourages people from experiencing emotion or from opening up their very souls is a poor place of worship.

The analogy gets muddled there (I was tempted to say that lots of people frequent the church building, but I’m certain I don’t want to push that line), but the point is this: sometimes we should spend our time attending to things other than temple maintenance. Sometimes it is appropriate to eat something for the pleasure of it, even if it isn’t the healthiest thing we can find. Enjoyment is valuable, as are exercise and vegetables.

But the question should always be one of stewardship.

John 17:21-"That they all be one, as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be in us; That the world may believe that thou hast sent me:

Have you ever visited a bazaar or market in your local town, or perhaps while on vacation? According to Wikipedia, bazaars can be defined as permanently enclosed merchandising areas, marketplaces, or street shops where goods and services are exchanged and sold. I love visiting bazaars because you can find a lot of local hand-crafted goods.  Not only that, but you support local communities and economies when you buy them.

What if you were able to visit a bazaar online from the convenience of your computer or mobile device? Well, thanks to Zaarly.com, you can. Certainly, there is a lot of fun in visiting local marketplaces in person and no one is saying you can’t still do that. However, I’d like to encourage you to join me as we look at a virtual way of finding local services and products, building relationships with sellers and perhaps someday visiting an online bazaar or sellers across the globe from your iPad. Here’s what the folks at Zaarly are trying to accomplish: “a world where people can discover and interact with each other on a one-to-one basis to buy and sell locally.”

The name comes from “bazaar.” The founders took the word bazaar and shorted it and then added a few letters to the end. Genius! Zaarly is still fairly new. It’s limited to a few cities – San Francisco, New York, Kansas City, Seattle and LA. But don’t worry, they still offer the capability to order from sellers across the nation that provide shipping.

Zaarly Offers Services to Both Buyers and Sellers

Sellers can establish online storefronts after their application is approved. It doesn’t appear this is a high-volume based operation such as Craigslist or eBay. Zaarly is looking for unique qualities. They want only the best service providers and that’s probably why the spend time screening candidates and even helping them establish a storefront with professional photography. Here’s what they say on their website: “Zaarly Storefronts are exclusive to amazing service providers (such as handymen, private chefs, or yoga instructors) or creators of custom-made, unique goods (such as jewelry, clothing, or furniture).

How Does Zaarly Work?

Buying

I decided to do some searching and it automatically aligned me with Kansas City, which is the closest city to me. I decided to search for “repair man” and got 25 results. You can also search by category which includes baking and cooking, creative services, everyday help, home services and repairs, local experiences, business services, event planning and more.

“Junk removal and haul off,” “brake repair” to “three hours of misc home repair” and “chores” were among my repair man search results. Home repair and chores looked interesting and for $77 for three hours of work.

I looked closer. Shane Moore from Kansas City will come to your house and help you with just about any chore or repair around the house. You send Mr. Moore a list. He brings the tools and hard work and you sit back and relax.

But, is he trustworthy? Shane had 10 reviews and among them I found these – “Shane did an outstanding job for me”; “professional, nice guy and hard worker”; “just the best. And super great guy that does fantastic work.” By way of such reviews, you could connect with Mr. Moore, retain his services and have a go-to repair man for the future.

Is it baking and cooking you like? You could have one-on-one meat smoking lessons, a whole smoked pig catered and served to 150 people, or just invite a pro over to your house to grill. The services appear to be endless. Did I mention you can get handmade creations? Custom paracord dog collar, anyone?

Selling

If you can cater to the local market, or can ship your goods, Zaarly is worth checking out. As I mentioned, not just anyone can get a Storefront which I think makes this a little more exciting to try and can set you apart from other local businesses. To get started, you’ll have to apply by submitting your Storefront and listings for approval.

According to Zaarly, getting selected will require a compelling bio that tells your story and why you’re an expert.  They’ll need to know your skills so they can connect you with the right marketplace and potential customers. And you’ll have to create listings (products or services) that customers can simply click on and buy via your Storefront.

What can you do as a seller? You get a virtual storefront where you can sell your items to local people. You’re in complete control of pricing and the jobs you offer. Zaarly manages the payment platform and it’s secured up to $10,000. What I really like is that Zaarly’s editorial team will help you create a story for your Storefront and a professional photographer will help your listings look professional. What more could a local entrepreneur, services provider or craftsman want?

What’s the Cost to Buy or Sell?

It’s quite simple. Zaarly is free for sellers. Buyers are charged a 10% convenience fee when they make purchases – that’s how Zaarly makes their money (more on that below).

Advantages

As with any service, there are advantages and disadvantages. Here are some I would consider if you’re thinking about signing up for Zaarly.

It’s free to sign up! Buyers can find local service providers and build long-term relationships with them. You have the support of community reviews to be confident in what you’re getting. Exclusivity also builds confidence for me. Not just anyone can set up a store and sell in this online bazaar. Would you Google a service or try Zaarly? Google provides reviews for local businesses, but again, it’s wide open. This goes without saying, but it’s convenient for buyers with mobile apps and the ability to browse market places from any computer. Sellers can create a business from their hobbies and skills without having advertising overhead, the cost of their own store. Word can get out fast if you offer high quality products and services! As mentioned, you get a professional Storefront with help from the editorial team and professional photographer. You don’t have to make payments to sellers or service providers. The entire financial transaction is handled through the website.

Disadvantages

Zaarly has limited locations. The plans are big, but it’s just not rolled out everywhere yet.  You’ll be searching Zaarly for shippable items if your city isn’t available. A 10% fee may be high for some people. Zaarly is offering a premium, high quality service, so I get it. However, this could steer some people away.

Final Thoughts

For me, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I’m looking forward to learning more about Zaarly and will be excited to see them in my area. For the time being, I’ll browse around more and certainly take a look at shippable items.

I like the idea of building a team of local service providers that I can trust and continue to work with in the future. I can also trust that people will only recommend services providers and products if they’re pleased themselves. There’s nothing like finding providers that your community already trusts. This in itself may be worth the 10% fee.

Will you use Zaarly the next time you need some yard work or perhaps a gift for your spouse? Leave a comment with your thoughts!

A friend sent me a copy of Jon Ronson’s book, The Psychopath Test: A Journey through the Madness Industry. He just wanted my opinion of the book, I think. (But it did remind me of another friend who gave me a six-pack of Tic-Tacs for my birthday.)

The book is a very interesting journey. By page 97, you finally get to the 20 items of the psychopath test. By page 168, you are screening most of the people you know according to these items—I identified at least two, no active pastors (the one I considered had retired), no CCEF colleagues, but I was certainly looking forward to identifying many more with my new found knowledge. By page 211, I realized that I had just fallen prey to that diagnostic fever you get when you learn a new way to identify behavior and are suddenly on the prowl for it everywhere. By the end of the book I came back to sanity: there are some truly nasty people out there who are devoid of compassion, but there are not very many, and I do not have to keep looking for them.

Psychopaths

Psychopaths, also known as sociopaths, are described as charming, manipulative, and lacking conscience, empathy, guilt and remorse. The well-known ones are men. The checklist, which is not officially sanctioned in modern psychiatry, also includes need for stimulation and proneness to boredom, pathological lying, shallow emotions, promiscuous sexual behavior, unrealistic goals, inveterate blaming, and unstable relationships. Among the most eerie descriptions is that they have no warm emotions but study the emotional responses of others so they can use those emotions to their advantage. Now you are probably thinking about some people you know too.

No empathy and compassion

It is the matter of empathy and compassion that raises a question for biblical counselors. Psychopaths do register very little empathy and compassion as measured by amygdala functioning (the amygdala is an area of the brain that seems to be involved in emotions). Does this mean that someone can be neurologically wired to be unmoved by the pain and suffering of other people? And does this mean they are unable to change?

Here is a proposition to consider: compassion and empathy—the ability to enter into a person’s world and be moved by it—are unequally distributed throughout the population. Some people are good at it, others are not so good. I know people who are moved, even disrupted, by the day’s news stories and often pray for people they have never met. And I know others, who are barely moved, even by tearful pleas for engagement from loved ones. The range is broad, even in the non-psychopath population.

Is there hope?

Can those who, by nature, are less emotional, less empathic and less compassionate grow in such things? After all, some physical impairments never improve, and we do not expect them to. For example, we do not expect someone with a damaged spinal cord to be healed, even if the person has a growing relationship with Christ. But that’s okay because God does not say we must walk. He does, however, call us to grow in compassion (e.g., Col. 3:12) and with any calling he provides grace to fulfill it.

So the answer is clear: constitutionally passionless people can grow in compassion (though they might never be as proficient as some would like). They might never have strong emotional responses to the joys or miseries of others, but they can learn how to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. The criteria is not how brilliant they are in their compassion; it is their humility and willingness to grow that is important. If there are neurological predispositions, they set limitations but these limitations are malleable.

The “up side” of the fear of man

There is one other theme in the book that interests us. Ronson, at times, wonders if there is an inner psychopath in him, and leaves readers wondering about themselves. That is: Am I a psychopath? Ronson rejects the diagnosis for himself because he is so prone to anxiety. To be more specific, he cares what people think of him. This means that we have finally found something good about the fear of man! Though we want to do battle with it, be encouraged that, as long as the fear of man is palpable in our life, we are not closet psychopaths.

Full disclosure: I’ve seen all seasons of the How I Met Your Mother available on Netflix, although I haven’t kept up with current episodes. It’s entertaining, it has it’s funny moments, it’s a way to pass the time. But as I moved through the seasons, I began to get more and more uncomfortable with the show’s portrayal of relationships and less and less sympathetic toward Ted Mosby as a protagonist.

Ted’s character is, on the surface, presented to us as a hopeless romantic: an idealist with a lot of love to give, longing for the day he meets “the one” with whom he’ll spend the rest of his life. We already know that he gets his happy ending, since the premise of the show is that Ted from the year 2030 is recounting his misadventures to his future children, i.e, the offspring Ted will share with “the one.”

But when I think about Ted Mosby, I see, perhaps hidden a little deeper beneath the laugh track, perhaps within the subconscious of the show itself (since I doubt that the show’s writers intend for Ted to come across this way), a man whose selfish actions are supposed to be somehow justified by the fact that he hopes to one day settle down, get married, have some kids, and for goodness’ sake stop sleeping around. I see a man who is just as selfish and casually promiscuous (or at least, just as nonchalant about being casually promiscuous) as Barney–the womanizer of whose lifestyle we’re supposed to kind of not approve (even the other characters on the show look down on his shallow behavior)–and I’m supposed to root for this guy?

I’m bothered by the dichotomy of Ted the Romantic, whom we’re supposed to cheer for, and Barney the Womanizer, who we’re supposed to find shallow and inappropriate (although I think even then in just a friendly, Barney-will-be-Barney sort of way). I think it’s dangerous to root for a protagonist like Ted Mosby, because Ted shows us that it’s perfectly fine to casually sleep around in your twenties-to-mid-thirties, as long as you someday get responsible and have a family with “the one;” best of all, this lifestyle is virtually consequence free! And don’t worry, you’ll find “the one.” Everyone does!

This is, I believe, a reflection of contemporary norms regarding sexuality and relationships. And I think it’s dangerous that so many people are buying into Ted Mosby and what popular shows like How I Met Your Mother are telling us about what we should expect out of romantic relationships.

For instance: this concept of “the one.” Ted’s immoral means are supposedly justified by his “virtuous” end: finding his “one,” his soul mate, his future wife. This notion that there is a single person out there in the world that we are destined to be with encourages, I think, the same kind of unrealistic expectations as a Disney princess movie. Searching for “the one” is like waiting for Prince (or Princess) Charming: the only person in the world who can rescue us (from our insecurities, weaknesses, loneliness) and make us complete and truly happy. The only person with whom we are meant to spend our lives, and once we find that person it’s time to cue the music, ride off into the sunset, and roll credits. If I put these kinds of expectations, and this kind of pressure, on my husband, I can only imagine how detrimental it would be to our relationship if and when he fails to meet them. After all, while my husband is absolutely an extraordinary man and my favorite person to be with, he is only human. And he is certainly not my savior.

This kind of thinking ignores the less-than-idealistic aspects of real-life relationships that take commitment, sacrifice, and work. Relationships that are not always easy or exactly what we want or expect them to be. This kind of thinking is both selfish and idolatrous: if we subscribe to the concept of “the one” we in turn must believe that the person we end up with will provide us with comfort, ease, and happiness. Further, believing someone to be “the one” sets them up on a pedestal of perfection akin to idol worship, because we are asking of them lowlier versions of things that we should be seeking from God: salvation (instead of comfort), sanctification (instead of ease), and eternal joy (instead of immediate happiness). (I feel I should clarify that marriage can be a vehicle through which God sanctifies people, but that’s different than another person being the sanctifier.)

In the end, I think Ted’s journey is misdirected, and that in turn those who perhaps identify with Ted’s journey are misdirected. Part of the human experience is to search for meaning; what will make us content? What will give our lives purpose? How do I find my own happy ending? The answer lies not with another person–a spouse, a soul mate, “the one”–but with Christ.

You move us to delight in praising You; for You have formed us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in You. – St. Augustine, Confessions

 

Prayer is a like a Golden Chain,Its one end is connected to the Eare of the GOD and other End to our Heart not to Tongue ..If two ends are connected strongly to each other then only it will be safe,otherwise it will drop like a Gold chain from our neck ....
ONE END OF THE PRAYER CHAIN CONNECTED TO GOD STRONGLY ,,
SO,NO DOUBT ABOUT FIRST END....wt about second End ..? because it connected to our Heart ,,,,,,so ,some doubt about this second end ....!
your prayer connected with GOD strongly ....?

check and correct it by connect strongly ......GOD BLESS YOU

Dear Child:

Pray to Me. Come to Me. Cry out to Me. I am listening.

 

http://waitonboaz.com

How to make the Perfect Cup of Tea: George Orwell’s 11 Rules

The Best Moment of My Day… This. Slows your heart rate down, yes? What’s yours?

On living the Unhurried Life.… read. this. slow. What are your sheer acts of defiance?

Ten Inspiring Ways to Your Parenting – no matter where you live……

5 Minute Glory Holy-day -– the whole earth is full of the glory of God and this is nothing short of breathtaking. Like a mini vacation, hol-i-day— what a way to start the day, looking for His gifts…

Why you will remember what you read on the page — and not on the screen…. why reading books matters.

That post? Those 3 Simple Words for Every Day that are sort of rocking my world? “… then you came?”

Here is one way one man is doing just that — (inspires you to get thinking creatively, eh?)

82-year-old Barber offers Free Haircuts to the homeless — in exchange for a Hug:

“The 82-year-old Cymerys, who is known as Joe the Barber, began offering his services 25 years ago after retiring from a career in business. He had cut hair for his family but decided to put his clippers to work for the less fortunate after being inspired by a church sermon about the homeless.

“It really is love. I love these guys,” Cymerys said. He paused and turned to his client in the chair, “You know I love you, right?”
Full story and slideshow here

  A read for deep soul refreshment: Not by Sight: A Fresh Look at Old Stories of Walking by Faith

When Mr. Jon Bloom, President of Desiring God, sent me an early manuscript of his book to read, I read slowly. Captivated by the stories of Scripture all over again. I made notes. I re-read. The chapters, 35 imaginative retellings of Bible stories, made me hungrier for God, His Truth, the company of Christ. Mr. Bloom’s Scripture saturated lines stirred a trust in God’s promises instead of personal perceptions.

And when I met Mr. Bloom at his office this past winter — I was deeply struck, taken aback, by his humility, his genuine warmth and down-to-earth grace — this was a man who sincerely walked with Jesus.  Mr. John Piper writes the forward of Not by Sight: “Pick a chapters in this book whose title looks relevant for you. Listen as you read. Look through what you hear. And see if Jesus does not show himself to you in such a way that you do not trust Him more.” Mr. Bloom lives this.

And I offered my own endorsement: “Spurgeon said, “My books are my tools.” And this book is one wise match for the journey. Bloom’s stories and insights ignite– ignite fire in bones, ignite the best and old paths, ignite glimpses of God’s glory that makes you want to run this walk of faith.” I humbly encourage you to pick up Not by Sight… penned by a man who quietly, authentically lives what he so compellingly writes. Perfect devotional reading for your morning cup of espresso or tea!

 

In the morning when you rise…  (Consider clicking off music in the left sidebar?  Just click the speaker icon. And RSS readers, join us here to see this morning’s espresso videos…}

Worship.

Time for this… Let this have us on our knees:

Morning Verse for Today’s Living:

“He will have no fear of bad news;

his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.”

~Psalm 112:7

Click here to download the FREE EASTER / LENT Devotional: The Trail to the Tree{please give it a few moments to download… thank you for grace!} And if you are thinking Advent/Christmas — Click here to download the FREE JESSE TREE Advent Family Devotional {please give it a few moments to download… thank you for grace!}